Tuesday, 6 July 2010

Guilty as Thieves...!

Praise ITV. Praise them to the heavens for being the masters of original, entertaining programming!!! Praise them for their latest, super-duper original Monday Night Drama Identity (ITV1), which is sooooo original that I’m just wetting myself talking about it.

Thus ends the sarcastic bit.

Straight to the point, Identity is flat out unoriginal (ironic really, what with that Title). Focussing on an Identity Theft Investigation Team with no personality (and no acting skills either), the Show follows them as they investigate...well, identity theft. And that’s pretty much all the plot there is. I know, hardly riveting stuff.

Bland is the best word for this piece of sleep inducing despair. It tries so desperately to be like Spooks in a bid to at least be visually engrossing. Sadly, even that fails miserably, a bit like Katie Price’s singing career, thanks largely due to flat and lazy direction.

Normally in a case like this, you at least have a talented Cast trying to keep things afloat. Sadly, someone seems to have stolen all the decent actors in Britain. Hence Aidan Gillen as the lead Character, whose name I can’t be bothered to even learn, an Actor who can’t seem to decide which crappy accent to use. Honestly, I can’t tell whether his character’s Irish, American, Martian or a collection of all three. As for charisma...hell, it looks as though someone filched that as well. Damn thieves!!!

Ashes to Ashes star Keeley Hawes is also on hand as the lead Female Character whose own identity appears to have been stolen (along with her personality). I really don’t understand why she does this!! She pulls out all the stops as an actress in top notch stuff like Spooks, but then goes and gives a lazy performance in rubbish like this!!! Maybe she just read the script and thought that it wasn’t worth the effort!!!

Script wise it’s a mess. The Science and Technology on display is fresh out of the good ol’ book of CSI: Whatever gobbledegook, whilst trying to understand the main plotline is as impossible a task as trying to squeeze orange juice out of a Bull. Something to do with a super intelligent Teenager, I think (a huge jump of logic if ever there was one)!!! Whoever wrote this needs to steal some decent plot ideas, me thinks!!

Basically, Identity lacks everything a High Concept Primetime Drama should have – decent plot, decent acting...hell, decent everything!!! Down to basics, it’s guilty of identity theft, just like pretty much everything else on ITV these days!!

Now, how about ITV go steal themselves a truly original idea?!

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