Lee Nelson's Well Crap Show...!

There comes a time at least once or twice a Year (though more than likely the time in question comes along every other week) when something turns up on the Television that just irritates me to the point of insanity!!! This leads to anger, then the tearing of Hair, followed by more anger, a little bit of intense weeping, and finally the purchase of a double barrelled shotgun!! People are shot, the Police cart me away, throw me into a Cell for 24 Hours, then release me with a warning and tell me not to do it again (oooh, satire!).

This Weeks murderous rampage was caused by none other than Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show (BBC Three), a Show with a title so ironic, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the Producers only chose it so that poncy little t**ts like me could use it to slag off their awful mess of a show.

Actor & Writer Simon Brodkin stars as Lee Nelson, a happy-go-lucky Chav who presents this studio based trash, playing pointless and uninteresting games with the audience members and telling jokes that are about as funny as falling down the stairs and landing on the sharp end of a rake that you left carelessly lying about at the bottom. Meanwhile, the Show is peppered with additional sketches featuring Brodkin in all manner of various roles, which also fail to squeeze even the slightest trickle of laughter from my reinforced gob!! Worse still is his terrible catchphrase – “Quali-ty”, which has all the finesse and cleverness of a one legged Panda about it. Worst Catchphrase ever? Probably.

Is there anything really that funny about chavs?! Sure, they’re about as dumb as...well, Chavs, but other, much more talented comedians like Catherine Tate have been there and done that. If you’re gonna do a Show based around a Chav for the sake of laughs, then at least do something original and funny with it.

The humour here revolves around Nelson just talking about either his Girlfriend getting pregnant or him getting pissed, or ‘insert any other Chav stereotype here’. You could get this kind of ‘comedy’ if you went and sat in your local pub!!! The other sketches are as equally unfunny; revolving around the kind of cheap jokes you could imagine Kids at School coming up with in the playground – resulting in characters such as out of control Footballer Jason Bent, the incompetent Doctor Bob, and Chris Young, a Holiday Rep whose idea of a good time is a hundred percent sex, drugs and booze – so basically, the sketches are written by a genetic crossbreed of both Monkey and retard!! They’re dreary, pointless, and humourless, and all they manage to do is make me even angrier that this crap was ever commissioned!!

Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show fails to live up to its namesake on so many levels – it’s crude, it’s unfunny, and it lacks in everything that makes a good Comedy Show. The Jokes don’t go anyway, the writing sucks (if you can even call it writing, when it’s plainly obvious that the content of the show was merely determined by Monkey’s flinging s**t at a wall covered in random letters of the alphabet), and as for everything else...

GGGGGRRRRRAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!