Tuesday, 19 January 2010
Bang goes the Theory...!
What have we done to deserve this?!! Does God hate us that much, that he feels the need to torture us?!! And not just through sweet and innocent methods, like thumb-screws or Japanese water torture, oh dear me, no!! No, instead, he decides to go beyond the call of duty, and subject us to the foulest, inhumane torture ever imagined. I talk, dear reader, of the absolutely unrelenting, unstoppable, and downright painful return of The Big Bang Theory (E4), America’s so-called geek Comedy, which follows the lives of four Nerds, as they negotiate the ‘hilarious’ trials and tribulations of fitting in and being cool!! God, it makes me sick just thinking about it!!!
The Format is simple: Four 20-something Physicists live next door to a beautiful girl, and despite their geekiness, manage to form a friendship with her, which leads to all sorts of trouble, as everyone knows that geeks are weird and completely socially inept. Right? WRONG!!!!
The Big Bang Theory is without doubt the biggest pain in my arse, and in some ways, a little bit offensive!! Not in the way that will cause mass protests and riots in the streets, demanding it’s cancellation and erasure from history (tried that, didn’t work, just landed me in the Police cells for a Night, next to a big butch guy called Alan, but that’s a story for another time), but for its stereotypical portrayal of geeks and geek culture. Its use of stereotypical, stock characters is atrocious, and the show comes across as written by a bunch of dumb High School Jocks, as if it’s some kind of cruel High School prank!! Wait scratch that, that’s offensive to the Jocks...at least their capable of writing something understandable and slightly amusing, unlike the stoned chimpanzees that have been hired to pen ‘jokes' for this trash!!!
Gags are often no more than crappy and obvious Star Trek references, shoe horned in to poke fun at the geek’s lack of social prowess and how dumb and useless they are, because they fail to meet the standards of the cool and popular. ‘Oh look, he made a joke about a Batman Cookie Jar, how droll, how absolutely hilarious, Ha-Ha, I’m laughing hard at these social nobodies so much, I may well wet myself, fall out of my chair, and throw myself out of the window, and it’s so funny, I may not do it all in that order!!!!!’ Ladies & Gents, proof that equality is absolute bollocks!!!
For a show that claims to be ‘pro-geek’, it hardly wastes any time in pointing out all of the geek’s flaws, their weird habits, or their lack of social understanding!! In doing this, just to get a few cheap laughs, the writers instantly make the characters unlikeable, brainwash casual viewers into thinking the geeks behaviour is the norm for all other real-life geeks, and manage to piss off every real-life geek on the planet in the process!! I think it’s fair to say that the creators have failed in their mission statement, and deserve to be shot in the testicles, close range, with a bazooka, whilst being wedgied!!! Hey, that’s what really happens to real geeks, right? They get wedgiesd all the time?!! Right?!!!
It doesn’t help matters when you have, without doubt, the most annoying cast in any TV Show ever!!! Seriously, they are that annoying and unconvincing I’ve actually begun fantasising about killing them all, one by one, in various violent and gruesome ways, Se7en style, starting with the pretty one!!! But away from my murderous tendencies, even a blind pensioner who doesn’t watch TV at all can plainly point out how unconvincing the four actors playing the geeks are. Like all US TV, looks come first, and the same applies here!! There isn’t an ugly t**t within a 10 mile radius, which pretty much proves my point!! That’s one thing about geeks I hate to admit to be truth - we aren’t all babe magnets!! Sadly. But then again, I’ve seen uglier football players, so up theirs!!
The Big Bang Theory? A concept that could have been so brilliant, and yet, due to idiotic American producers lack of understanding of true geek culture, rubbish and obvious jokes that merely make the characters appear dumb, annoying and that little bit more punchable, and the pointless use of good looking actors to portray what should be average looking and even ugly characters, all originality, humour and potential is thrown out of the window, and makes a nasty, bloody, spongy mess on the streets below!!!
Here’s hoping the same happens to every actor and crew-member who has ever worked on this disastrous piece of crap!! That way we normal geeks will be spared the continued humiliation that this pile of drivel and lies affords us every day!!!